EPISODE IX - THERE IS CHAOS IN MY HEART

EPISODE IX - THERE IS CHAOS IN MY HEART

Early one morning, I arrived at one of my favorite High School and started to familiarize myself with what needed to be done that day with my assigned classes: My assignment read, "Phys Ed. Health Secondary, Sokalag C. teacher". Mr. Sokalag had left a message that there would be no gym that day. Students were supposed to work on various health assignments he had given to them previously. This meant no gym dress attire for me, sweat pants, and sneakers.

As I was walking down the corridor, I could see on the left side, two girls sitting down in front of the lockers. They were huddled together. As I approached, I could see that one was in tears while the other was trying to counsel her. I stopped and bent down to speak to them.

The one in weeping had bloodshot puffed eyes, an indication to me that she had been crying for a long time and possibly had not had much sleep that night. I felt somewhat intrusive in entering their space, but I tried in the most sincere and empathetic way to demonstrate to them, that I was only interested to see if I can be of any assistance. "Is there anything, I can help you with?", I asked. They both nodded, "No." I got up and moved on, feeling much regret that I had witnessed a child in much pain and for me not to be able to reach out. I convinced myself that this was a private moment between friends, and it was not my place to insist further.

When the first class started, once again, students insisted that I tell them a story. I decided to relate to them the story of Ayonwatha, from my story entitled, "The Native." All went very well in the first period, and many students were curious enough to copy my blog URL...

(http://canadianstoryteller.blogspot.ca/)

... to continue reading further, about my journey as "The Substitute Teacher." In the following class, I was somewhat surprised to find out that, sitting in the third row, two desks back from the front,  were seated the two girls, in my morning encounter.  I identified them from the attendance list, as Sofia and Luciana.

As I was relating to the students Ayonwatha's predicament in life; having to live with his grandmother, and the loss of both his father and mother, one could see Luciana, visibly shaken;  bellowing tears began streaking down her cheeks. I paused and turned to address Luciana. I said, "Sometimes my stories are emotionally moving to some students. I even become emotional myself when I am telling them. Would you like to take a break?" Slowly, and somewhat embarrassed, Luciana got up and walked towards the door. I nodded to Sofia, to lip-read my gestures, asking her, "Would you see to it that she is alright?" Both girls walked out.

It was during recess,  while I waited in class, that Sofia came to speak to me. She was very concerned about Luciana, her friend: Luciana was planning to run away, that night. When I asked for more details, Sofia became hesitant, feeling uncomfortable in that she was "telling" on her friend. She thought that if there was some truth in my story of "The Light," that I might be able to help. I tried to assure Sofia that, although I could not promise that it would be "The Light," that would help in this situation. The fact that she had shared in trust with me, she was already helping her friend. Running away was not the solution for Luciana, and we must help her see that by doing so, she would be creating more problems for herself than finding solutions.  I had a spare the following period, so I decided to visit the school counselor, Ms. Janice.

Ms. Janice was quite aware of Luciana's home issues but did not know that things had gotten so far out of hand; that she was thinking of running away. Luciana had been a top student and very well adjusted until her parents started having issues.

According to Ms. Janice, Luciana's father had lost his job as an aircraft engineer and had not been able to obtain another one in Montreal, for some time. Her mom was a chef, so the couple had tried opening a restaurant. They took a big gamble and invested all their savings, including having to mortgage their home. The business had failed, and now the couple had started, "the blame game." Luciana's entire world had changed. Her father had to leave the province to find work. Luciana and her mother struggled to make ends meet. She loved her father and missed him very much, but her mother kept insisting that he was a "no good." Each time Luciana's, mother would badmouth her dad, fights would break out between them. The child was torn apart, she wished for her world of the past, which was no more. Ms. Janice insisted there was little we could do, other than informing the mother because Luciana had not actually run away from home. I decided to bring up this matter with my mentor and friend, Constable Martineau.

Constable Martineau was very understanding of the situation, but like Ms. Janice, the school counselor said that his hands were tied because the girl had not run away. That her running away, was second-hand information from her friend Sofia. He promised to have a few of his friends in the division, keep close surveillance of Luciana's home for a possible run away. Two nights later, at about 1:30 in the morning, I received a call from Constable Martineau, that Luciana had indeed run away from home. She was found trying to board an inter-provincial bus. She was in an appalling state, rebellious and self-harming. She was taken to a Children's Aid Center. I asked what was to be done with her, and the Constable informed me that her mother would be called to pick her up.

Two days after this incident, I received a call from Ms. Janice, the school counselor. She asked if I could drop by the school, to see her at a time when Luciana and her mom would also be attending.

When I arrived at the school, that afternoon and entered Ms. Janice's office, sitting at the table, was Luciana and a lady who I believed was her mother, it was Mrs. Richardo. Ms. Janice went on to say, that one of the reasons, Luciana had run away, was inspired by my story of Ayonwatha,  the young boy, in my account of "The Native." How by running away, he was able to get close to his father. Luciana hoped to travel to Alberta and find her father.

Mrs. Richardo seemed lost at all this and had no idea what to do; she feared Luciana would attempt to run away once again. I asked the mother and with Ms. Janice' permission if I could have a few minutes in private with Luciana to see if there were any way I could help.

In the next office, with Luciana, I started asking her how she felt and why she had tried to run away. Once again, Luciana broke down crying, and calling out, "THERE IS CHAOS IN MY HEART." I told her that I understood that life was difficult for a young person like herself to understand and make sense; there was hope. She reminisced about times when her family was together, and all the pleasant times she had with her Dad and Mom. The family was so happy up until her dad lost his job. I assured Luciana that both her father and mother loved her: She responded that they could not love her if they did not like each other.

According to Luciana's mother, Mr. Richardo had gone to Alberta, and found a job that only gave him minimal income; not enough for him and his family to have a decent life. When I described the situation to Constable Martineau later on the next day and how I wanted to help, he became leery of my getting too involved. My mentor reasoned that all members of the family were healthy, and they, in time, would be able to solve their problems. He advised that I should not get involved in every issue, fearing what could happen to me, if the power of "The Light," were to be exposed. I was torn about what to do. On the one hand, I knew Constable Martineau, was right in his concern for my family's safety, but I also felt compelled to reach out and help Luciana. I had to find an indirect way to help.

That night, I turned to the Elysium and the wisdom of the Judges. In the fog of eternity, beyond the thoughts of perceived reality and the essence of all, I saw two figures of ancient times. One with wings of birds attached to him; he was the younger of the two, Ikaros. Next to him, the most celebrated architect of that time, his father, Daedalus.

 " Ο νεαρός πρέπει να ανοίξει τα φτερά τους και να πετάξουν, δεν μπορούν να συγκρατηθεί, θα πρέπει να επικουρείται στο ένδοξο ταξίδι τους σε κίνδυνο και τη σοφία. Πάρτε αυτή την πτέρυγα της σκέψης, κομιστή του φωτός, σ 'αυτόν που σχεδιάζει σαν εμένα και να τον βοηθήσει να κατασκευάσει τα φτερά για την πτήση. Νέους ένα του επιθυμεί να είναι έτσι."

(The young must spread their wings and fly. They cannot be held back. They must be assisted in their glorious journey of risk to gain wisdom. Take this wing of thought, bearer of The Light, to him who weaves thought into reality and help him construct the wings for flight. His young one wishes it is so.) I knew then what needed to be done:

I could see myself having an out of body experience, traveling west to the land of gushing petrol, the tar sands of Alberta. In a small mobile cabin, a man slept there. Next to him, on a dresser, a small picture frame. The picture was of Luciana, her mother, and presumably her father, Mr. Richardo. Next to a small table lay some drafting plans of what appeared to be some drawing of wings of planes.

I proceeded to place the palm of my right hand on Mr. Richardo's right shoulder, "The Light" transfer had been made, he soon stirred and woke up. He moved to the table, looked at the drawings, and became very excited, his face glowing with “An aha! Moment”. He took hold of a giant eraser and started altering those drawings. He worked, measured, and did many complicated calculations. Finally, he was finished. He took, his final design and pinned it on the wall in front of him; he lay down once again on his bed, staring at his new plans in glee. I knew my mission was complete.

A week later, I was called to substitute at the school, where Luciana was attending. I decided to drop by Ms. Janice's office to get an update on Luciana. Ms. Janice, with a great big smile, informed me that Mr. Richardo had returned back to his old job at Bombardier. Apparently, he had come up with some brilliant new design for an aircraft wing, which gave the company a considerable advantage over its rivals in the industry. Mr. Richardo not only got his old job back but was given a share in the profits the new airplane would generate. The family was now, "in heaven," as Ms. Janice described it, and Luciana could not be much happier.

Since that event, I have thought hard about Luciana's predicament and about her running away from home. Little does my audience know about my personal experience in this matter, perhaps someday, I will write such a story, "Age of Rage." 

All I can say to my readers, for now, is that running away from home is NEVER a solution but most often than not, makes the situation worse for everyone. Staying silent and bottling up, is also just as bad. Like in Luciana's case, try confiding in some trusted friend as Luciana did in Sofia. Most important in all this, share your feelings with adults in your school. "Speak up loud and clear," to those specially trained to help, like Ms. Janice, the school counselor. I know sometimes, it is frustrating, and you might think that adults don't listen but be assured that they do.

Finally, let me end by noting how precious you and other young people are by quoting a small part of prose so dear to "The Light" and me:

"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Desiderata - Written by Max Ehrmann, 1927.

Here is "A life Recipe." Enjoy!


By Elias Leousis,
(Η αγάπη είναι το μελάνι, η σοφία είναι το μήνυμα.) 
Love is the ink, wisdom is the message!

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EPISODE XII - THE PARACHUTE BABY

EPISODE XII - THE PARACHUTE BABY

(It is Tuesday morning day 5; Mr. Leousis is once again replacing the gym teacher but not for physical education. Today, the class was supposed to have CPR. He addresses the students :)

"Normally, you people bug me to tell you a story, but today, I am excited because the story I am about to present to you, fits in with this course of CPR. I do not think a teacher could devise a better strategy to teach the importance of this subject than to speak about an actual personal life experience. There are three such short stories I wish to share with you. So here we go:

I was teaching at Bancroft Elementary school in Montreal when the importance of training teachers and administrators in CPR was beginning to take hold. It was the time of watching films on reels, there were no CD's or NetFlicks, so you can imagine how long ago that would be; I would say almost thirty-two years ago. At one such staff professional day, we were going to watch a film on procedures of CPR, to get a general understanding; after that, we would be trained using a manikin. In this long, 45 min. film, in which we observed such techniques as Chest compression, clearing airways, mouth-to-mouth technique, and so many others. By the end of the film, my head was spinning from overload.

I ended my school day and headed for home; it was an hour-long drive to the suburbs. I longed to get home and be with my young children, Yllet and Eiffe: Yllet was almost a toddler of two, and newborn Eiffe was only weeks old. I would typically attend to my son, Yllet, and read to him a children's story while my wife would nurse Eiffe, just before we turned in for the night: I had gone to bed, waiting for my wife to arrive. Usually, after nursing the infant, my wife would hum a lullaby as she would leave the baby's room until she came next door to our bedroom; this time, it was different; she had gone unusually silent!

Seconds later, she appears at the door, gasping for air, calling out to me, "Louis, the baby isn't breathing"! I immediately jumped up, went into the baby's room, and sure enough, the baby had gone silent. I picked her tiny body up and moved towards the bathroom sink where I tried desperately to think of what I must do; what had I seen in the film at school that day that I could use.


Sure enough, in the CPR film, there was a five-minute scene of someone holding a doll, fully rested on their left arm and using their right hand to try to dislodge whatever was stuck in the baby's mouth or throat. I tried doing this but to no avail; the baby's pink color was getting blue, and my panic was hitting the roof of my throbbing pulse! I called out to my wife to run and get the neighbor to care for our toddler while I tried mouth to mouth and whatever else came to my mind to try to save our baby. There was no time to call for an ambulance. We got into our car, a standard, VW, Rabbit model car. My wife could not drive a standard car so now, I had to manage all. Press the clutch, change gears while holding the baby in one hand, blowing into her mouth and doing much praying: "Please ancients save my baby!"

For a moment, I felt this calm as if the entire world around me was moving at incredibly slow, slow; I mean, "slow-motion" (Mr. Leousis emphasis). In the haze of sight and illusion, I could see a mother bearing her infant child in a nursing position, the infant content, Mono Lisa elusive smile, staring right at me. She spoke:

" Δεν υπάρχει δημιουργία χωρίς θυσία και τον πόνο. Κάθε φορά που η Γη φέρει βουνά υπάρχει ένα δάκρυ, κάθε φορά που μια μητέρα φέρει ένα παιδί υπάρχει πόνος. Μπορείτε δεν μπορεί να βλάψει ένα παιδί με σωματικό πόνο, αν είναι η αγάπη μετριέται και ζωογόνος - χτυπήσει το βρέφος τώρα!"

(There is no creation without sacrifice and pain. Each time the Earth bears mountains, there is a tear, each time a mother bears a child, there is pain. You cannot hurt a child with physical pain, if it is love measured and life-giving, strike the infant now!)

 
I could not believe what I was being told to do, how could I strike my infant, I hesitated. The hospital was at least 15 min away, the baby was not breathing, anger, and tears filled my eyes, and I cried out, please forgive me!

We arrived at the hospital gates, I got out holding my limp infant in my hand, there was no time. I gave her a crushing blow in the back, so hard that if she were not suffocated already from whatever was choking her, certainly, I would have killed her from my powerful blow! 

As I saw this monstrous horror in my mind's eye, at the same time, I heard the most precious cry, which I will never forget… Our baby burst into a nagging, "wonderfully piercing cry," she was saved! We rushed to the emergency, placed her on a bed where the attending physician just pinched her baby fat, and said, "She will be o.k." I dropped to my knees as if I had carried the world of Atlas. I now knew that I should have followed through and listened to the words of the Elysium.

Till this very day, I always say, "Take Eiffe, put her on a plane and parachute her down, anywhere in the world.  She will survive", she is "The Parachute Baby":

My "CPR," experience does not end there. Years later, at a Pizza Hut, while having lunch with my younger son, we heard some commotion around the bend of the restaurant. A mother's crying call for an ambulance, a father desperately trying to revive this six-year-old boy, the child was choking! I rushed over and asked the parents for permission to intervene; there were no vital signs.

I maneuvered my finger right down the child's throat searching and hoping to reach whatever was blocking his esophagus, without success. I thought of the Elysium's advice of persistent, loving pain, and I pressed deeper. I persisted and noticed that he was still alive when I pushed deeper into his throat and realized that he was gagging.  He popped out a finger-sized piece of bread. He was saved!

I am no hero, but I always remember the skills of CRP and the wisdom of "The Light." Sometimes, we have to cause pain to save lives, as long as, "it is love measured and life-giving." We must take the risk at our peril if we are wrong; the only way to take ownership of your decisions and live up to your responsibilities towards others.


If I have not convinced you of the vital importance of learning CPR through my story, please accept the gift below, I hope it will someday help you save a life and make you a hero. 




Oh, by the way, at the introduction, I mentioned that there are three stories I wish to relate to you; the next one will follow next time we have a class together... wait for the adventure!

By Elias Leousis,
(Η αγάπη είναι το μελάνι, η σοφία είναι το μήνυμα.) 
Love is the ink wisdom is the message!

 
Click here to go to the main menu.

EPISODE XVI - NEEDS, WANTS AND DEMANDS

EPISODE XVI - NEEDS, WANTS, AND DEMANDS

Restless young minds are again at my door of consciousness, asking for more advice on a multitude of issues to which I am honored to respond. I can categorize your questions into three main groups, needs, wants, and demands; so let us attempt each one in its turn.

Needs:

Being part of the living world, the "corporal" world, the animal world; be we a tiger cub, a monkey or human, we have basic needs that we cannot do without. It is instinctive for our survival that these "needs" be secured long before we can provide for ourselves.




Those who give us birth, our parents, are themselves bound to these laws of survival because they too are part of this psychology.


In other words, healthy parents will not deny you, food, water, sleep, etc.. As important is your ability, your right, for you to express yourself through your sexuality. Here is where we get into a touchy subject. Many teens get all excited because somewhere along the way, this subject is made taboo, dirty, and something best be kept in the darkness. In fact, it is one of the most vital needs of youth and our very existence as a species depends on it.

Your sexuality is part of who you are and who you express yourself to be; it is part of your name. I will not deal with the "mechanics" of this subject. By now, your curiosity and the Internet has educated you enough to know more than I can attempt to describe here. What I am interested in is to help you get over the "psychological guilt," that might be placed on you at this early stage. Your curiosity sometimes puts you in embarrassing situations, shame, and guilt, which it should not.


A boy wrote to me that he was caught viewing, "inappropriate" content, on the Internet. He was made to feel very guilty about it; this should not be so. Your curious minds are asking questions; questions that your guardians, your parents, teachers, wise men/women, should be ready to help you explore. In most cases, it is no one's fault; it is just that there is no certainty when it is the "appropriate time." That is why there must be trust, love, and forgiveness. However, you must also realize what a powerful human entity you have become; nature has now bestowed upon you, the power to reproduce another human being. That is a great responsibility; one that you must not take likely.


Up to this point, you have been fed, cared for, and nurtured, by someone else. Your parents or guardians have assumed, and dedicated, a large part of their lives in your care. The question you should be asking is whether you are ready to equal that care, if not be prepared to give more?


Look at the chart below, it is a useful guide for you to follow. See what steps you need to go through in your growth to “self-actualize:" To be fully aware of your identity and name, to be ready to take on the responsibility and care of another human being.


These are the steps that you will "naturally" go through, but you must be patient. The fact that you have grown your wings does not mean you can fly. That is why you need to listen and be patient and seek those around you, the adults, to show you the way. Remember, it is in adult's best interest, their very "existence" depends on it, that you succeed in life.

Wants:


To desire to have something or someone is part instinctive like your "needs"; also something to strive for and reach as one's goals. This desire is a healthy attitude to have. Most young people find themselves getting into trouble when they "demand" to have their "wants," without having contributed anything towards their attainment: They confuse their "needs"; which have been met, up until now by others, their parents or guardians, with something that is desired but not vital; something that must be earned.


It is like taking part in a class project; something that you are all familiar with, where you are expected to contribute your fair share of the work. In fact, as you well know, those that provide more than their fair share are always sought after by other students. Those that do not pull their weight are usually, isolated, and dismissed from play. That is why my young friends, take advantage of this period in your lives. Be responsible contributors, in work, laughter, and joy. By doing so, you will attain many rewards because "wants" are "the currency" of many. If you give as much of this currency as you demand, you will be rewarded multiple times in return.


Demands:


Demands come about when there is some "misunderstanding" between one's "needs" and "wants." It is not a comfortable place to be because there is a perception that some injustice exists. You see, young friends, you have every right to demand basic human survival "needs," be met by those who gave you life. Issues usually come about, when you demand that someone meet your "wants" as well. For example, you have every right to demand food, shelter, love, and care from your parents but you cannot "demand" things, just because "everyone else" has; if you know what I mean. In fact, you should realize a "secret"; most parents want to meet your "demands," but they should understand better, not to give in to these temptations. If they do, you will lose out in life and, they will be irresponsible parents: A formula that will harm you, in the long run. It is much easier for a parent to give in to your demands, than for them to take the responsible course and deny your immediate gratification of things that might cause you harm. Helios, the Sun God, did just that with his son, Phaethon.


"Phaethon, challenged by his playmates, sought assurance from his mother; that his father was the Sun God. She gave him the requested assurance and told him to turn to his father for confirmation. He asked his father for some proof that would demonstrate his relationship with the "Sun God." When The God promised to grant him whatever he wanted, he insisted on being allowed to drive the sun chariot for a day. Placed in charge of the chariot, he was unable to control the horses. The earth was in danger of being burnt up and, to prevent this disaster; Zeus killed him with a thunderbolt.[6]





I can relate to you many tragedies that have taken place. Numerous parents have given in and allowed their children "their chariots" for a joyride, only to witness the loss of their children or worst of all, children maimed for life. The other side of this "anomaly," is having parents, who themselves are fearful of letting go. Parents who refuse to take the responsibility to "push out of the nest," their young so that they can take flight.


I have often witnessed bird's nests, where the mother will push the young chick out of the nest, for the young bird to take flight. It is the most difficult decision a loving parent will make. On your side of the equation, when you make "demands" of your parents, the question you should ask, are you ready to take on such a responsibility of someone else's life? Remember, once you jump out of the nest, there is no coming back. Once you express your sexuality and give birth to another human being, there is no sending it back - returns and refunds do not apply in real life!


I hope I have not been too, “patronizing” my young friends. I have said much and not told you a story; watch the following video of few words but definite meaning: “The Push.”





By Elias Leousis,


(Η αγάπη είναι το μελάνι, η σοφία είναι το μήνυμα.)



Love is the ink; wisdom is the message!







Click here to go to the main menu.